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OW! I FEEL GOOD (nanananananana) I KNEW THAT I WOULD NOW!!!!! <--- random lyric stuck in my head, thanks to my work. That and WE ALL LIVE IN A YELLOW SUBMARINE...A YELLOW SUBMARINE...A YELLOW SUBMARINE. On the plus side, I now know the words to a lot of great songs (Snoopy VS the Red Baron, anyone??). I find these advertisements on the side of the screen very entertaining. Now there's a woman looking over her shoulder at me in what I guess is supposed to be a provocative manner. I think she kinda looks possessed. Anyhoo, Rob and I are going out to dinner with Debbie and Jon tonight! Woohoo! Haven't spent time with them in ages. I think the last time it was just the four of us was when we went to the Byrd to see the Narnia movie. Wow. That was a long time ago. We're going to Aladdin's. Rob and I have never been there, but apparently there are hookas involved. Amusing. So I'm still trying to figure out these various parties I'm supposed to be doing for Rachel. The bachelorette is posing quite the problem, because I've only ever been to two bachelorettes...April's and mine. I need help! So far, I'm thinking we'll go out to eat, maybe hit a club/bar, then back to my apartment for some chill time. Does that sound lame??????? I'm trying to make sure that it's fun for the drinkers AND the non-drinkers. Rachel has requested a little bit of naughtiness, so I've got a few penis related entertainments planned. No strippers though. I don't think any of us want dingles shaking in our faces. Oh yeah. That was another thing I found while planning this thing. There's this strawberry flavored stuff that you put on the guy's thingamajig, and the product description says "put some tingle in his dingle." I thought I was going to fall off the couch I was laughing so hard. Rob has been entertained by my online shopping. As far as the bridal shower is concerned, I think we're on the right track. We've ordered the invitations for it (I've got the ones for the bachelorette too), and we've come up with some of the things we're going to have for snacks (pistachios, jelly bellies, chips and dip, shrimp cocktail....wow, that sounds like a weird combination when you write it all out like that). On a completely different note, things at work are going semi-well. They're good because I'm working on getting a promotion and my bosses seem open to it. They're not so good because one of my favorite bosses is leaving and in his place we're getting the jerk from hell. I may end up saying to heck with the promotion and just quit. We'll see. OK, this is long. Adios!
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There's an advertisement on the screen with a well-endowed chick who's got on a T-shirt that pictures a grizzly and says BEARS in large letters. I am curious, but not enough to click her industrial sized boobies. Anyway...I haven't been on here in a while. I'm so bad at these things! I couldn't sleep last night...I finally got up at 4:30 AM, just so I could stop tormenting myself by thinking, "if I fall asleep NOW, I could get 2 hours of sleep." I have to go with Rachel to find a wedding dress. That should be entertaining. I'm working on planning this bachelorette, which I am much more excited about planning than the bridal shower. I think we'll have a good time. I wish I'd known to throw Debbie one...there are so many hilarious things I would have done for her! hee hee. My feet are cold...I might have to change out of my pretty shoes and into some more sensible ones. Boo on sensible shoes. >:( This is turning into a ramble. Oh well. I have too many clocks...and none of them say the same time. Very annoying. I need someone to synchronize me. *Yawn* There's nothing to eat for breakfast....except a jar of peanut butter. I think I'll pass.
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There are days when I realize that, as much as I try to be a good person, I still have a lot to learn. I read this story and found a new drive to help people. I'm going out this week to hand out sandwiches, and I hope that Brendan Foster's name lives forever in our hearts. The video is on youtube...just search for Brendan Foster. If you don't want to watch the video, the link to the article is below. |
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Ok...a lot has happened since my last post. I'll try to summarize without being too long winded. I flushed all of my pain pills because I didn't want to get hooked on them...then went to the doctor and was promptly put BACK on pain pills. LOL. The gyno didn't know what my problem was really...she suggested that one of my ovarian cysts ruptured and I was just still inflamed, so she prescribed an anti-inflammatory. That actually seems to help more than the pain pills, so I think we're on the way to figuring out what's going on. I'm still in pain, but it's down to a managable level and I'm lucid. :) I'm on anti-anxiety pills now too. I feel more like my old self than I have in years. I feel more capable of handling stressful situations, and I feel like I'm making better decisions. I'm going to start going to a shrink too, because the psychologist (psychiatrist?) said it might help me. Since his wonder-drug is helping me so much, I figure I should give the shrink a try. On a downward note, there's been a lot of negative stuff happening to my family the past few weeks. Debbie's grandmother died, and although her family seems to have made peace with it, there's always sadness that comes along with losing a loved one. My uncle Steve's wife is being mean to my mother, and it's making Mom really upset. Mom's friend Linda is in the hospital with pnuemonia and was there a week before Mom even knew about it because no one called her. Linda doesn't want Mom to come visit because she is on all sorts of tubes (she can't even talk), and they have her tied to the bed (she pulls the tubes out if she's untied). Mom could just really use our prayers right now, as could Debbie and Carolyn's family. This is starting to get long, so I'll write more another time.
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I am so frustrated! I have been in pain for so long and NO ONE is taking the time to figure out what is going on. No one has even done an ultrasound, which you'd think would be the first step. In fact, last night I went to the ER and my doctor left in the middle of my case. A new doctor who didn't know what the hell was going on told me I must just have IBS. I already HAVE IBS, I know what it feels like. This is totally different, and is under my left ribcage for pete's sake. There's also pain behind my bellybutton that stabs into my back and chest. It's probably the worst pain I've felt in my life. But my bloodwork and CT scans keep coming back normal. And to be fair, they were really busy in the ER last night. Apparently there were some really sick babies. I didn't want to bother them while they were working on the little ones, but the pain meds they gave me only dulled the pain at first, then wore off very quickly. I wasn't hitting the call button, but when Rob noticed I was crying, he hit it over my protestations. No one ever came. My alarms went off twice before the babies ever got there, once for a wild heart rate, and once for high blood pressure, and no one ever came. Then came the random doctor who told me I was being discharged. I honestly don't know what to do. I am tired of being in constant pain, tired of complaining about it, and tired of doctors blowing me off. I have an appointment with my gyno Wednesday and I'm going to tell her what's going on. She's the only one of my doctors who actually takes me seriously. I am just not sure if she will be able to do anything about this particular problem. But I'll never know if I don't ask, right? Well, I just needed to blow off some steam. I will shut up now.
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So this is weird: Rob and I had a pregnancy scare, and I'm more disappointed that I'm not pregnant than relieved. I was freaking out about all the reasons having a baby right now would be a bad thing, but now...I guess even though it would have been hard, it would have still been OUR baby. I did not see this coming. LOL. I think it's funny that for a long time I didn't want to get married, let alone have children, and now I definitely want that whole stay-at-home mom lifestyle. I could totally do the homemaker thing. :) Rob and I joined the gym. I went by myself last week. It was fun! This week we're hoping to go together three or four times. I'm going to go print out some pictures for various family members.
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I'm procrastinating going to bed, which isn't good, since I have to get up in the early AM. I'm going early morning grocery shopping to try to avoid the idiocy that is Kroger. I hate grocery shopping. But we can't live off our parents' pantries forever. I want us to be more self-sufficient! :) I'm just having a hard time going to sleep tonight. I think I'm too wound up. We joined the gym today, and I'm going for my first workout tomorrow. I must say, having all these people around who are exercising and losing weight is certainly inspirational. Debbie looks fantastic! I go green with envy every time I see her. LOL. But walking around the neighborhood is banned, so water aerobics and low impact exercise equipment it is! That's cool with me, since I much prefer the air conditioned gym to the humid outdoors. I'm such a girl. Bleh. I amuse myself. We're fighting with the new landlord to be able to have our dog Jack come live with us. He says that they've been telling new tenants that dogs aren't allowed, but there are at least 3 dogs in our building. One of our brand new neighbors has a dog and she says that she just had to pay extra and sign something. Our old lease said that we could have dogs, and that's why he's even considering it. I'm trying to handle the whole situation nicely and get our way without alienating our landlord. So I'm keeping the fact that I know about the other dogs as my ace in the hole, and trying to sweet talk the guy first. After that, it's going to be WWIII baby. He can either let us have Jack, or he can break our lease, give us back our deposit, and we'll find somewhere else to live. It wouldn't bother me! Robert got a the delivery driver job. YAY! He's been making decent money at it, although some people give him exact change, which I think it rude. I can't imagine not giving a delivery driver a tip...I tipped our last delivery guy even though he was rude to me!!! They kept him pretty late tonight...he didn't get off until around 11. I started making a baby blanket tonight. I hope it comes out like I want it to. I want to get to where I make a baby blanket for every new baby I know. This one will be for Kristina, then there's a baby at church that I want to make one for if I can. I may even try to make a couple for Mom to sell at the craft show. It's just something I like doing. It's very relaxing! OK, I guess that's enough procrastinating if I'm going to get up in the AM. Happy Tuesday everyone!
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So far, today has been a good day! We went to church this morning, which we haven't done since we got married. I'd forgotten how much I enjoy it. I'm heading out to pick up my uncle's puppy in a little while. I'm taking her to get fixed in the morning, so she's staying with us tonight. Exciting! I need to get to work filling out her papers. My apartment is such a mess....with all the running around we've been doing, it's been hard to keep it clean. I think I'll put in some quality time with my cleaning supplies today. :) I don't really have anything to write, so I guess I'll run along...happy Sunday!
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I've been looking for a full time job with benefits for a while now. I'm not terribly picky, but it would be nice if it was at least marginally interesting. I've been looking since just after the honeymoon. Robert also has been looking for a job. He wants a part-time job, and he's been applying to fewer places than I have. (I've been putting in applications and sending copies of my resume to at least ten different employers every day) Robert got a call back for a job as a food delivery guy. It's the perfect job for him. He's not really into dealing with people long term, and he's an excellent driver. There's a little kink as far as getting insurance for the time he's delivering, but other than that, it's a great job. The base pay is like $13 per hour, plus tips. I'm so excited for him! But, if I'm being completely truthful, I'm slightly jealous. I've really been pushing it to get a good job, and this was literally the first place he applied to! Really, it's OK though. It's a little extra money if he gets through the final interview, which I'm sure he will. For someone who's very introverted, he gives off a darn good impression. Still no pictures from the photographer! I went and got some stuff for Kristina's baby today, then went back out with mom to get some stuff from her to send as well. Only 8 weeks left!! Khol's was having a great sale...most of the clothes we got were like $2 per outfit. I think we're going shopping again tomorrow...I have no idea what my plans are for the weekend. I have this feeling like I made plans, but I can't remember what they are and I didn't write them down. Oh well, I guess if I forget something, someone will call me to yell at me! LOL.
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I am so ready for the weekend! I'm going shopping with Mom because my friend Kristina is going to have her baby soon! Only 8 weeks to go! We want to send her a baby gift. I've also got to go get my uncle Richard's dog, Sadie, to come spend Sunday night with me, because I'm taking her to get fixed on Monday morning. Exciting. This past weekend was good. Much fun, a bit of drama...so it wasn't a perfect weekend, but it was good. Robbie has been really good to me the last few days. He's always very sweet, but he's been extra special nice lately. Right now he's watching the US Open...he wants Roddick to win this match. The other guy looks sad and puny. I think he knows he's going to lose. I'm really irritated because the photographer STILL hasn't given us the pictures from the wedding. Grr. I've got to start talking to the landlord about letting us have Jack at the apartment. That's going to be quite a switch...a lot more responsibility for me and Rob. Taking him out to go potty is not going to be fun...but we've missed him a lot, so it'll be better to have him with us. And he'll keep me company on "boys' weekends." LOL.
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So three very painful trips to the physical therapist and one bout of pleurisy later, I am convinced that my body is on strike. Well too bad....I'm not increasing its salary. Things are going pretty well...we got Jack in to the vet today. He didn't attack or maim anyone! Yay! The only thing he did was try to play with a cat that was NOT happy with that plan. The cat emitted that rrrrrrrrrrrrooooowl sound that they do when they are really pissed, and Jack jumped back, sat down, and cocked his head quizzically at the cat carrier. He's used to being able to go right up to Baby, so an antagonistic cat was new for him. Luckily the cat's owner thought it was funny, and praised Jack for his good sense in not pressing the point. Dr. Escobar gave Jack some new meds to try to calm down his itchiness, so hopefully that will work. Rob and I watched Dirty Dancing. I had forgotten how much I love that movie. I want to be able to dance like that!!! Well, I guess I should go...I'm dropping Rob off at his friend Brian's birthday party, then possibly doing some window shopping. Grr....I wish I had a job!!!
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If there's anything I hate in this world, then it's feeling like I'm constantly falling apart. I hate feeling different, having to be careful, and feeling like people think I'm making more of something than what it really is. I hate feeling left out when I can't keep up with the world. My most recent thing is having "instability in the spine." I am no longer allowed to do anything more strenuous than sitting or walking, and even then, I'm not supposed to walk more than just a few yards at a time, and I'm supposed to get up every now and then when I'm sitting. If I don't follow these rules, I could end up doing severe damage to my spine. I have to give up a lot of stuff, and it's not easy. I'm not one of these people who wants attention for being sick or in pain. I don't to rest as much as I should, which in turn makes Rob mad at me. I just don't want to draw attention to something that makes me different. Of course, I don't want Rob mad at me either. I know that some people don't believe that I'm hurting or that I honestly can't keep up, and think badly of me when I can't do stuff. I can't help what's wrong with me, and for myself, I've pretty much made peace with it. Right now, I'm a bit slower, but I'll get up to speed again. There's a lot to be thankful for too. This is sort of forcing me to slow down...kind of a little vacation. I have more time to find a job, more reason to just sit and cuddle with Rob. As for this posting...I just came from physical therapy (which makes me VERY cranky) and needed a minute to rant. :) To anyone who thinks I'm faking or making too big of a deal out of this: kiss my grits.
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Again I find that I haven't posted in a while. Life sort of took itself off and left me careening along in its wake. LOL. I'm trying to do better about keeping up with friends, being organized, etc, but so far I feel like I haven't done so hot! Someone is always left out, there's always a junk drawer, and I have NO JOB!!! Surprisingly though, I am very upbeat. Must be the valium... Anyway, I don't really have that much to post, but I like this thing that Debbie put up and so I'm going to steal it! Mwah hah hah! Unfortunately, I don't know how to make a link so that it only appears when you click it. :( Oh well! 1. Bold every book that you've read. 2. Place brackets around those books you were required to read in school. 3. Underline every book that you've read and loved. 4. Italicize every book that you intend to read. 5. Strike every book that you started but never finished. 1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen 3 {Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte} 4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling 5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee 6 7 8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell 9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman 10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens 11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott 12 Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy 13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller 14 [Complete Works of Shakespeare] 15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier 16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien 17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks 18 [Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger] 19 The Time Traveler's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger 20 Middlemarch - George Eliot 21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell 22 [The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald] 23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens 24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy 25 The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams 26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh 27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky 28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck 29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll 30 31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy 32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens 33 34 Emma - Jane Austen 35 Persuasion - Jane Austen 36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis 37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini 38 Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres 39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden 40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne 41 Animal Farm - George Orwell 42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown 43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez 44 A Prayer for Owen Meany - John Irving 45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins 46 47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy 48 The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood 49 [Lord of the Flies - William Golding] 50 Atonement - Ian McEwan 51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel 52 Dune - Frank Herbert 53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons 54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen 55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth 56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon 57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens 58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley 59 60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez 61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck 62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov 63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt 64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold 65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas 66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac 67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy 68 69 Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie 70 71 72 Dracula - Bram Stoker 73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett 74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill 75 Ulysses - James Joyce 76 77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome 78 Germinal - Emile Zola 79 80 Possession - AS Byatt 81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens 82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell 83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker 84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro 85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert 86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry 87 Charlotte's Web - EB White 88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom 89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle 90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton 91 92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery 93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks 94 Watership Down - Richard Adams 95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole 96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute 97 98 [Hamlet - William Shakespeare] 99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl 100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo Ok, so I'm done for now....maybe I'll post again soon....
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I need a job. BLEH. 68 days until the wedding. I can't wait! (I am NOT counting...) School is almost over. Officially done Thursday at 11pm. Got gushing feedback on the tattoo project. Thanks to my inked friends! I'm tired...must sleep... :)
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OH. MY. GOSH. Are you kidding me with finals? I've got to complete my movie/photo essay, write an 8 page paper, study for my religions final, and still make time for errands, family, church, and friends. Well phooey. Right now I'm procrastinating, because I'm tired as all get out and I don't feel like working. Bad Erin. On the plus side, we've gotten so much done on all the wedding stuff. The gifts for the bridesmaids, his mom, and my parents are done, as well as my gift for Robbie. Now we just need the gift for his dad and the groomsmen. We ordered the wax for the wax seals that will be going on the invitations, the cake topper, and the cake serving set. I had my first fitting on the dress, which was an interesting event. Come to find out, the dress fits better without the crazy hot spandex bra thingie that I was wearing. I look skinnier without the durned thing! Talk about a waste of money! I'm still happy though, because now I can actually move in the dress! :) Robbie is almost done with his classes. He's putting up a huge installation made of sheets of plastic on campus soon. That should be interesting. OK, he wants attention, must run! :)
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All of my rants seem to be school related... I have a religion paper due on Thursday. No biggie, I got an A- on the last one. This particular rant is more because I don't really feel like I understand the religion I'm supposed to be writing on yet. We've been studying Buddhism, and I'm fairly comfortable with it in general, but I don't think I know enough for a paper yet. Plus I object to being given a question and forced to write pretty much the same thing that I know everyone else will be writing. The topic this week? "What is 'affluenza'? How would the Buddha diagnose contemporary America? Use specific Buddhist terminology. Are we better striving for more material wealth? Does your lifestyle negatively impact the natural world and future generations? 900 words." 900 words? I could sum all of that up in about a paragraph. That was the problem I had last time too. The last one was asking how Gandhi would feel about our military strike in response to 9/11. Duh.... Speaking of, I need to borrow a book from Jon... On to a happier, much less stressful subject. Those of you tired of hearing/reading my wedding ramblings should tune out here, btw. We found the flower girl dresses. I'm just worried about the price. Has anyone looked at the prices of those things lately?????? What a SCAM! Seriously, if you make an item have anything to do with a wedding, the price goes up exponentially. So I was looking at these tiny little dresses, getting sticker shock ($200?!?!?!? Are you freaking kidding???), and wondering how I could ask my mom to make four flower girl dresses on top of the one she's making for Sarah (she offered, but that's a lot of work!), when inspiration struck. Overstock.com!!! I found the dress for the smaller girls right away for about $40, and then moved on to another discount store where I found the other one for about $50. That still seems like A LOT of money for a dress they will probably only wear once, but it was the best I could do. I even tried department stores and places like Gymboree, but I think Debbie got all the luck with that one. :( We're tasting cakes on Saturday, as well as doing a trial of wedding hair. :) I'm excited! I haven't had a haircut in so long, plus I think I'll get highlights. Just have to make sure it's in our budget. If it's not, then the cut and trial run is plenty! From there, we're going to try on the wedding dress with the hair, veil, and jewelry to see if we like it. Busy busy! For those interested, here's the links to the dresses. http://www.overstock.com/Clothing/R http://www.flowergirldressforless.com/m For those not interested, here's a link to something totally unrelated, yet totally awesome! (You have to watch the whole thing!) http://youtube.com/watch?v=JzqumbhfxRo
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I am SO tired of being in school! I'm so frustrated with the whole thing. Do you know that I've been in college for about 7 years now and only have a two year degree? I was sick and needed time off...blah blah blah. It's getting really hard to care about classes, which is ironic because I'm so close to graduating now. Although, every time I turn around it appears that something else has conspired to slow me down. This could turn into a very large rant, and I don't feel like putting the effort into it. Anyway, other things in life are going well. Rob and I took our first dance lesson. It was a lot of fun. The little twerp has the nerve to be a better dancer than me. Luckily, I'll have on a long dress, so no one will see my faulty footwork! :) Robbie is having to work really hard on another art project tonight. He's got to make a bunch of little abstract pictures using cut out pieces of paper. Fun fun. He wants me to go with him to move the car. I guess I'll write more another time. :)
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chipper
tired
contemplative
frustrated
sick
confused
content
all over the place
mellow
amused
crazy
cold